She’s done.
While I’m somewhat uncomfortable with her, it feels like a healthy stretch. I can feel my insides trembling just a bit, resisting the truth I feel, yet excited by the outcome … should I choose for it to be so (and I do). Letting go of old thought patterns, beliefs, and habits is freeing yet it can be a struggle to truly release them. I admit, I enjoy my lame excuses, but at this point I can’t even say them with a straight face.
“She” is my muse painting, Staying Wild, Being Free. I can feel her fierceness, but she’s also surprisingly funny (though you might not see that just by looking at her). She is a stand for sovereignty. Of being your True Self, expressing what’s real, and navigating this life while holding a wider, deeper perspective than what we’ve been handed by default. She’s straightforward, courageous, and deeply loving.
I appreciate Dave Berry’s perspective that “There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater, you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent.”
Diving deeper is irresistible, at least to me. That’s where the real juice is, the energy, the aliveness and the power. That’s where we find our freedom and our truest Self. To go there, we need curiosity and courage. And perhaps a pathway, a friend, and some really good chocolate.
A few years back, I read The Neverending Story. The Swamp of Sadness comes to mind. A dark, murky place where sadness feeds on itself. The more despair the horse felt, the heavier he became, sinking deeper into the muck and mire which caused more despair, more heaviness and more stuckness. We don’t need a literal dark, dank swamp to live this out; it’s all around us in the world right now.
But we do need to shake up and wake up to our current state, to take charge and make healthy decisions on all levels. To stand in ‘where I am now’ and ‘what is one step I can take.’ Sometimes the big picture is too much to face, but if we bring it back to just one next step … then the next … we find ourselves moving. Little by little, step by step, we move through the muck and mire toward a healthier, freer place.
Her message: You are a fierce benevolent being. You’ve traversed the wilderness, won the battles and yes, have some scars. Be where you are. Strong. Beautiful. Empowered. A light force to be reckoned with. Claim it. This is a new time, and the past is just that. Be part of the new world, the transformation that is occurring, welcoming in the new world as the old leaves.
It’s about staying wild enough to be free, and free enough to meet life as you truly are. From there, the choice, the next step, is yours to make.
With you, in the wild and the free.